So...Life · kind · of · sucks · sometimes

Ok well Its been like FOREVER since I've posted here but since something incredible has happened to me I figured I would start posting here again well the good news ok strike that the GREAT news is that I was cast in our festival play its the one we take to competiton I'm really excited we're doing the scarlet pimpernel and I'm playing the prince of wales not a huge part but I really happy so just wanted to get that out there I can't wait to start rehersals!!!!!!

Well remeber that whole hopeful blog about feeling better about theater guess what I was WRONG to the extreme nothing has changed since last year so I thought why not try someother theater comanys well since I know that someone is reading these entries and reporting to dede everytime I write about theater I just want to make it clear that I have decided nothing yet i may still do anything goes depending on what happens in the next couple months and I will probably be back for at least one show next year and I just want to try somehting new thats all but I also think that I'm not respected in my current company so I am seriously considering it but I still like dede its just I think I may do better somewhere else so from here its all what happens next I'll keep trying but its all up to her whether she wants me to stay or not.

-KP

ok Well I must thank dede and I am soooo excited because she has picked the perfect time to do godspell(our "preseason" show) and I'm excited now upon listening to the people on the recording that my friend lent me I was less than enthused but upon listening to some other recordings I was really excited. So heres what happened i was checking my email during study hall the day before yesterday and apparently I had tottallly missed an earlier email warning us of auditions so of course I proceeded to panic like major I needed an audition song so I picked Dancing through life from wicked and for those of you who haven't seen it you should it FAB-U-LOUS anyway I was litterely sitting in the parctice room from 700am un till like 815 took a history test and then went back to practice and I also had to come up with a "bit" a story about friends and make it really physical and stuff so I nailed that part the only iffy part was the song I had it memorized but I screwed up some lyrics and was working with a pianiast I'd never even met before but she was ReALLY good and nice so that went pretty well but she gave the ever so dangerous senior speech where she tells us that the majority of people on stage will be seniors and I was like under normal circustances I would have just died and given up and then I was like OMG I'm going to be a junior and maybe I can get a good part so I was actually in a good mood at the audition and I think that really helped my preformance well I am really excited but the results are announced when I am at camp but I gave them the camp address and how to get in contact with me so lets hope Pray with me!!!!!! well only 9 days till I leave for NEMC and any one whos my friend and wants to visit or bring me gifts which ever, the address is:

New England Music Camp
8 Golden Rod Road
Sidney, Maine 04330

So just send me a letter and address it to CAMPER Kurt and my last name for those who know me.

Well finnally my favorite time of year has come around again and I am preparing to go back yo NEMC and have a blast(again) for a 5th and perhaps final year but I am trying to focus on my finals in school and I am haveing a bit of trouble I have like no tests I only have only two tests and the rest of the finals are projects but I am absolutely exausted and I can't wait for NEMC and Iam leaving in two weeks for NEMC so lets hope all goes well.

-Kurt

Ok I am absolutely exausted I have finals next week and then I'm off to NEMC on the 25 and I'm out on the 16 so I'm excited and I have "warned" My voice teachers that this summer is ALL about preparing me for the "posible" musicals of next year. I am learning all the lead roles in Little shop of horrors, Godspell, 42nd Street and South Pacific. As well as knowing my arias that I'm entering in conterto bothi are in french I'm doing La Reve from Manon and Je crois entendre encore from the pearl fishers. So I have my work cut out for me this summer and I really want a lead next year so cross your fingers. Well I also have finals coming up so I'm like studying like the wind. I hope I get good grades

-Kurt

as I sit in front of my tv and watch the joseph volpe gala and read my yearbook I see all the changes that the stage goes through and I start to think about how many changes our stage has gone through well there was the arms in the man set that we put together in 3 and a half week and the ming lee mountain and the shack, lean-to, bar and the street scenes in Brigadoon as well as the set for hayfever. I had never realized this before but we are incredible we do all these shows with stunning sets and kick ass actors and I am onsistantly impressed by the amount of dedication to these productions I never realized before that there was ever such a closeness around the theatre company I know I've never been part of anything like it outside of NEMC.

"I never get sick of this place and I don't think I ever will"

-Kurt about the bowl at NEMC and falmouth high's Theatre

Well I need to start a new topic

as some of you know I also post all these on my myspace account and had a rather bitchy comment here at live journal and it is on the original post below as well as mt response and it reads like this

"If you haven't noticed, Dee Dee is just a tad bit petty and if she thinks that Fuck them is directed at her you won't see your name on another cast list. My sister told her that a play selection was poor and didn't see the footlights from the stage after her sophomore year. She does it alot. While you have some talent it isn't what she looks for - she wants accolytes. Wait until you do theater somewhere else and you'll see what I mean"

Well it's posted as annonomus and well I'm more than a little pissed off I adore dede and I think she is a wonderful director and a great person but that FUCK YOU was to people who are stupid enough to think that I would say that to this wonderful woman who has taught me so much about theater and the fact that someone would be so rude is just infuriating because if this person is gods gift to theater that I want no part of it because these condicending people are destroying the sacred art of stage work so as you can see I am very VERY not happy. and to point out the more insulting comments that my talent doesn't matter I wanted to stay at falmouth because it had the best atmosphere and the fact that this person is giving me SHIT about not going to another theater company because I like falmouth the best it tottal bullshit and I'm really very angry. and if this isn't rachel duddy who is incredibly talented and the only one to my knowlage to have done theater outside of falmouth, then I have no respect for you at all I am so hurt by this comment that implies that I am not an important member of the theatre company , and if this is rachel I have completely misjudged her but I know that she is a good person and would never say something so hurtful and cruel. HOw dare someone speak to me in sucha way as to minimize my importance in the company and yes may not LOVE being in the chorus but I LOVE doing theater and the fact that this moron dares to speak down to me is just insulting. Though this person admits that I have "some talent" they go on to say that i am not what shes looking for great what is she looking for huh I can sing and I can act what else does she want from me and yes i realize that to have a trult stunning career in any entertainment genre that need to be skiny and you know what if thaqt keeps me doing something i love I will go and get all the fat sucked out of me because what i look like doesn't matter to me as long as I can continue doing something I love and if my attitude or talent isn't good enough for a lead fine but I will continue doing theater intil I am buried 10 feet beneath the ground and I WILL NOT accept this tottal bullshit from anyone and if they want to see ho mad I really am the let them tell me who they are.

-Kurt

well its the end of our theatre season and I miss the seniors already and we had our party last night it was incredible as usual and I had so much fun I'm really gonna miss this season even with all the drama and mishaps I can't wait for next year and with all the friends I've made I feel as though a new click has formed...its like haveing a child except not.

-Kurt

OK i'm a drama queen brigadoon is not my last show with falmouth high what the hell was I thinking!?!?! well you know what? whatever they want to say about me thay can if i'm going to be famous I gotta get used to being misquoted hahaha and if they don't believe me when I say that I didn't say that then FUCK THEM!!!!!!!! I know I didn't say anything about that person and so do my real friends and thats all that really matters if they don't like me for something that I didn't say then they are just plain deluded. so I will be making another apperance in the falmouth high theatre company and I know that this was not my fault and I'm okay.....I'm gonna be okay

P.S. Lets all have a great time at the cast party tonight

-Kur

well I done it, i decided that brigadoon will be my last theatre show at falmouth.....I just can't do it any more I'm shaking so much I can type very fast and I just can't do it anymoreI'm in so much pain right now I just can't do this anymore. Last night a certian cast member said that I was glad that his father was dead and that I wished my parents were dead ....I would NEVER say that how dare he I'm just in so much pain I can't deal with. Its not fair why do I have to be the scapegoat for him make me look worse than him. I have done NOTHING and I cant just "deal with it" everything hurt and I's killing me I just can't handle being in so much pain. he has no excuse for saying that his father passed away fine but there is no reason for him to take out his anger at me. Now I admit maybe I'm not the nicest person in the world but he had no right to make such a horrible lie about me and try to destroy my reputation. Whats worse is that some people belived him now I admit I don't like the kid but I would never say anything like that I am not that cruel or heart less and I just think that this shows that I'm not wanted in the theatre company and I think its a good idea if I leave it and I can't hadle this it just is so painful to have to work with people that think your a bad person and I just don't think I can do a good job in that kind of enviorment and I don't want to be in that enviorment and I wasn't going to get a lead next year anyway so whats the difference, well for one I love theatre and I lve almost all the people and I even would miss dedes rants or unclear directions or the inside jokes that come out of it allbut being in this much pain doesn't allow me to just go and do it, I don't know what ill doo but for the moment this will be my last show. Hmm I ronic huh how everything that matters to me can seem like it means nothing in a time that I'm hurt. Theatre was all I had besides music and now I can't even have that well I guess everything comes and goes

-Kurt

well there are a mere 4 days to the musicaland it well....sucks there a scenes that rock and then othesthat well.......suck and I think that this cast can do it IF WE APPLY OURSELVES I LOVE this cast everyone is awsome but because of that its turned into less of a production and more into a study hall so this irks me the freshmen don't seem to understand WE OPEN IN THREE DAYS and i think we can do it but I hope that it turns out well because I don't want the theatre company to be humiliated becaus e there are people not giving 110% but I suppose that we have gotten out of tighter situations if we can pul together a festival production in two weks I think that we can do this but wish us luck

-Kurt Perry

P.S. the dates for brgadoon are may 4,5,11,12,13,

ok well i think I need to say that I said some very mean things in my last blog and while my opinons have not changed the way I say them should the fact that I used the C word was tottally unneeded and though the release was needed and felt really REALLY good i think that the fact that the way I said it was unacceptable needed to be said

Well for those of you who actually know me, I have a serious personal vendetta against my stepmother. She is currently running for the H.O.R. and the stress is "unbearable" she says so I say DON'T RUN!!!!!!!! we don't have the finantial support for it and the stress in the house is crazy and it seems like she just hates me she critisizes everything I do, whether it be what song i sing for preformance or how I style my hair. Just to day she says to me kurt you should shave(I'm growing a beard...its coming slowly) so I say no I'm fine. So she YELLS FINE LOOK LIKE A BUM BUT DON'T EXPECT TO BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH ME!!! and she storms out. and I'm just like whatever you fucked up bitch. and thats not the least of it shes always preaching for me to be skinny and I think that the whole Idea of have "the perfect body" is imposible, personally I want to be healthy if that means thinner than I am now, so be it but being one of those people who spen 3-6 hrs in the gym... that life is SOOOO not for me and she should not preach shes fatter than I am but she also a bitch I rember once when we went to a resturant and we were being seated, and this is a rather nice restuant we are seated by the bigger coouple, not HUGE but a little bigger nothing real huge, so she says "I don't want to sit next to those pigs." GASP!!! I was like that is so rude and she is always talking about how people should have manners so at that point i completly left the resturant and called my friend for a ride home. she is a horrible nasty person. When my father met her he said that she was the perfect woman,god she was a GREAT actressand it bugs me, and during that time he would openly insult my mother as still does my stepmothe it drives me fucking nuts it's like some common decency please!!!!!! I have known her for 13 years and i'm 16 and I have yet to hear her say something nice...TO ANYONE!!!!! and i want to be a singer but shes always like you know you'll never make it and I'm like ur fat and a cunt in my mind anyway she snaps at a drop of a hat and so does my dad but she is soooo aggresive lately. her attitude toward people who are not considered "pretty" by society's deffinition is sickening she is not open-minded and guess what SHES A HOMOPHOBE.....SHE DOES HAIR FOR A LIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what could be a worse career for a homophobe not even theatre is as gay(I Mean that in the best way possible) as the salon industry. I just.....AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh I feel better now but I'm still very frusterated with her...oh well my father still hasn't seen her for what she really is.

-Kurt

Well there are a mere 2 days before I'm heading to boston to see a production of wicked and I'm really excited. Plus I get to go shopping in boston yeah I know its not new york but I still like it. well life is pretty good here in falmouth our production of brigadoon open in about two weeks it looks pretty shaby but its coming slowly but surely and I'm really excited. well there really isn't anything else going on so i gotta go BYE

-Kurt P.

well I have created a real issue for myself I can't decide whether to attend the portland arts and technology high school or to continue to just do my school music program but I'm interested in both but I can't do both well i could but it would be a real strech and i don't know what to do I'm going to see what happens but i really want to do both well I guess i'll have to figure it out oh well

-Kurt Perry

god I'm so tired I haven't done anythig all day I have just slept and stuff but I am enjoying a lovely weekend because next week I won't get that luxery I have the state theatre festival and I don;t know how I'm going to handle it I'm leaving at 645 on saturday and arriving hom at 4am on sun this is just going to kill me but I really have to do this. well the rest of my wek looks like auditions rehersald and practice time.....oh and school. I'm currently practicing my role in Brigadoon and my arias for the role of des greiux in manon by massenet but I'm just getting really tired and I don't get much relax time but I love it and I have camp coming up only a mere 98 days I go to nemc and i love it i feel more at home therethan I do at home afor a 5tghnd it means so much for me to be able to go for a 5th year in a row with tthree of my best friends Jullianne, Christina and chris I miss them soooo much thay mean alot to me and I think that they are some of the greatest people that I have ever met.I think that I have been going through a lot lately for any one who reads my other blog on Myspace Knows I haven't had much of a social life lately just because I've been really busy with everything like theatre and music. I really want to have a close loving relationship but I can't find anyone who wants that it's all about sex and whos hottest buI guess that thats what life is all about lately oh well.

well for the first time in the history of dedes memory we had to cut people from festival crew, well, not really cut but not go up friday, but head up on saturday and I was one of them but I don't really care I'm just glad I get to go. Anyway I have alot of things to do anyway with my spot in the musical as a supporting vocalist secured, I get to relax and coast. As a chorus member I don't need to push my voice or myself alowing me to focus on my classical music and opera, and I'm actually enjoying this, I still wish I had the lead but what can you do. well this is going to be one of my rare entries that I don't yell and scream and bitch etc. but I still have lots of things to talk about, I have an issue, I have been told that there is another hott gay guy in my school and he has eluded my radar completly and I haven't a clue who it is but if it's who I think it is I'm very VERY happy but it depends but I don't mean to be disrespectful in anyway i just know it was stressful coming out and I just want to be a kind of support beam. Other than that I really have only the usual complaint no boyfriend no lead in the play better grades, but, i really like some of these really cute guys but I know I can't get them and I can't seem to get them out of my head and its driving me NUTS I can't stand it AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah thats better and i'm over it what ever I'm really excited about this summer it is the summer when I finnally enter the concerto competiton at my camp and I still am looking forward to seeing this summers production of don giovanni.

I just wanna put this out there for everyone to know............

I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wanted to let the entire world know that (suggestions would be appriciated)

-Kurt Perry